Doing this for real

Before I start, I want to say that I really don't want to focus a lot on my eating disorder on this blog, because I want it to be more about my goal of health and balance. That being said, I would just like to explain what is going on right now. Recently I have been having a tough time. But after seeing a huge drop in weight (I am back down to my all-time low), and starting this blog I have had a wake up call... Seriously, starting this blog has worked a miracle at a vital time. If I was to go down anymore, I might have to go back to rehab. The past week has been a huge turn around. I am also trying to add more food in, so I have been trying harder. What you see on this blog is a huge improvement from what I was doing 2 or 3 weeks ago. I am really ready to do this for real.

Afternoon snack was nothing new, but good- Cliff Kid Z-Bar and a Diet Swiss Miss Cocoa.

My night started with my sister and her friends interrupting me in my relaxation mode. It was fine though, they were cute and we had fun rocking out to David Archuleta. Long story =) Around 5:30 we left to go to my uncles house for my cousin Ryan's 21st birthday. I only stayed about a half hour because I had to go and babysit. Here is the little boy, Andrew, that I babysit for.

 

After I got Andrew to bed I finally got around to making dinner. I brought a bunch of frozen meals and snacks, but I really didn't want a frozen meal. I found some egg beaters and feta cheese in the fridge, so I decided to make a scramble. I used 1/2 c. Egg Beaters and 1/4 c. Fat Free Presidente Feta Cheese. I scrambled this up and served it alongside grapes and mandarin orange slices. On the side I had a Fiber 1 bar and a Low Sodium V8. I used to LOVE v8 when I was little, but for some reason I haven't had it in forever. I saw it at the grocery store last week and grabbed it.

Here is pics of dinner prep and the meal.

Yummy! As you can see, I splurged and had a Sierra Mist Free I found in the fridge. I actually didn't even finish it. After dinner, I talked to Ariel on the phone for a while and watched some "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" on ABC Family. While watching, I had a treat for dessert. In their freezer was something I used to have a lot, but haven't had in a while. I had actually never had the chocolate one, but it was good! A Weight Watchers Giant Chocolate Cookies & Cream Bar. I normally get the Giant Latte Bars, but these were a good change of pace.

When I got home, it was about 11 and I took a nice, hot, and long shower and then had my night snack/meal. Tonight I had weird cravings and made interesting choices! I had a Morningstar Farms Veggie Corn Dog (love these), a Yoplait Thick & Creamy, 4 pack of Austin Toasty Peanut Butter Crackers, and a Sugar Free Russell Stover Chocolate Marshmellow Santa that a picked up the other day at Walgreens. I can't believe Christmas candy is out already!!

Delish! Remind me to buy more marshmallow chocolates!!

Just so you all know, I tend to make my night snack/meal about 400-500 calories. I feel this is a good way to end the day, especially if I was low on calories throughout the day. Believe it or not, with my metabolism I might need to adjust this up based on my weight, because sometimes it really takes me a lot to gain. I think of the 3,500 rule. If you need 3,500 calories to gain a pound, then you would need to eat 500 calories a day above maintenance level to gain a pound per week. That will be my goal.

Now I am catching up on some "Fresh Prince" reruns before heading off to bed. 'Night!