Friday, December 5, 2008

I'm really back now!

Sorry about the little hiatus, but I was really having a tough time. I think that for a little while there, the blog was enforcing my obsession and I was actually doing worse. I am back now, because surprisingly after a few short weeks I am feeling MUCH better. In fact, this is probably the best I have ever felt in my eating disorder. I am finally starting to feel like I can let this go. I have been intuitive eating for the past few weeks. I have been eating basically whatever I want, and I haven't been measuring my food to the exact teaspoon! I still eat a lot of the same things I was eating before, for the simple reason that I like those foods. At the same time I am including things that I used to like, but wasn't letting myself have. I have been drinking some caloric liquids like milk, and including desserts that I never would have let touch my lips. In essence I feel like nothing is off limits. I am no longer binge- eating at night. I was lying to you guys before, and a lot of the time when I showed my afternoon or morning snack I was really saving it all for nighttime and having a lot of food at night after restricting all day. I promise I won't do that anymore! I am really feeling awesome and hopefully you'll notice the changes! Pictures are going to be hard to come by during school meals- that's my only warning. I am a little embarrassed to be photographing food in the dining hall. Otherwise, I will try my best to move the blog back into full-gear!

Phew, now that thats over. Breakfast this morning was a Raisin English Muffin with Brummel and Brown that I grabbed from the toaster as I was running out the door. No time for a sit down meal! I was starving again once it hit 10:30 (free block) so I ran to the store and grabbed the first thing I saw- a 100 Calorie Peanut Butter Crisp Balance Bar and a Diet Coke.

For lunch I had a salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, celery, and a hard-boiled egg white. I also had a large serving of fruit salad (different melons, grapes, pineapple, orange slices). To top off my lunch I had 1/2 of a Fluffernutter sandwich on whole wheat bread. I am obsessed with these! This is one of those foods people are obsessed with at my school, but I never let myself have. Now I am letting myself indulge in them! I had one both yesterday and today and let me tell you- sooo worth it. I love these.
I have to run to Community Service now (first day back for winter term!). In the bus on the way there I will probably have a Fiber 1 Bar that I just found hiding in my bag. I am letting a little hungry so I think I need something! I will upload the picture tonight.

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